[england through the eyes of a canadian: part deux]

So yesterday I treated my friend to a day in London. "What fun!" I can hear y'all exclaiming. It so it was. We began with the train from Haslemere to London Waterloo ("just how much is the ticket" followed by %@!!*$#@^&*$!!) Upon arrival we were swept along with the crowd ("how rude!") down to the tube station. I stopped at interesting points, as any diligent tour guide would, and proceeded to point out how the Toronto "subway" system is tiny (probably the only small thing there!) compared to London's tube. I then dragged poor tourist over and showed her the big tube map and we followed the northern line (the black one) up to Leicester square; this is where we'd be getting off. Well, that sounds pretty inocuous (one would think!) but in the background there was swearing (apparently we were blocking the sign), we were told that the tube isn't for tourists before 11:00am (some grumpy guy in a business suit), and some kid decided to try to steal my wallet (big mistake and that kid might need surgery to re-attach his hand! silly yobo!). After all that excitement we descend into the depths of waterloo station (it is deep compared to the toronto tube). I, again, good tour-guide behaviour, explain that we stand on the right so people can dash past (if they so wish) on the left. Of course, after I demonstrate tube etiquette, there has to be (there's always one, at least!) a big guy with dreds coming out of every orrifice just standing or rather swaying, on the left. ("How rude!") I prepared poor tourist for the tube journey which would undoubtedly include being squeezed so hard you're about to faint but then the doors open and the masses of people (some not so smelly, others incredibly so!) push you out. We weren't disappointed, it all happened just as I said it would. Leicester square was pretty uneventful, besides the crazy cabbies, the cyclists, the scooters, the pedestrians, the plain old crazy people, and the guys spouting "the end of the world is nigh". So, how does this compare with Toronto I ask poor tourist. "No, nothing like Canada, but just like New York." We then made our way towards Trafalgar Square and stopped in at St. Martins-in-the-Fields church just in time to catch a free lunchtime concert. The piano-playing was amazing and the sun streaming through the stained glass windows made the whole experience feel very celestial. Once more outside into the traffic I pointed out the Canadian consulate. It was hard to miss with an enormous Canadian flag billowing in the breeze. We popped in to the National Gallery and oohed and ahhed at the passion for paint exhibition. Exciting. Then, now this is the best bit, we had lunch at my fave place (when in Londinium), Miso Noodle. Ah....duck soup. De-vine! (Bet you're drooling) With that energy rush I took poor tourist down picadilly, regent street, and of course no visit would be complete without a schlep down Oxford Street (oooh, Harrods!). By then it was 8:00pm and it was time for poor tourist to train home. On the way back to Haslemere we reviewed our day and agreed that London is a) big, b) bloody expensive, c) bonkers, e) busy, f) blingtastic g) brilliant, and h) bloody bloody expensive!